In junior high, a few of us went down to the guidance counselor to get help because our common friend was talking about ending her own life. That counselor was a safe person to process with, even if he was a horrendous theologian. He encouraged us to stick close to our friend, and keep talking, even openly. He suggested we try and identify an adult with whom our friend might talk. Then he started his theological speculation. He should have stopped while he was ahead. He posited that a person’s eternity would be a continuation of their final moments. All I could think of was extended suffering, extended car accidents, extended hopelessness. I know we live in a pluralistic society, but some beliefs are worse than others. His was the worst.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide takes the lives of nearly 45,000 Americans a year. Suicidal thoughts are more common among females, but suicide is more common among males. The National Center for Health Statistics reports a 30% increase in the rate of death by suicide between 2000 and 2017. (These stats and more can be found at the CDC’s website: www.cdc.gov.)

One of my mentors, Jim Kok, wrote a book entitled, 90% of Helping is Just Showing Up. That is true. Do you have a gut sense that someone is fading out of life? Fade in to their life! “Just thought I’d stop in and see how you are doing.” “I’m worried about you.” “You’ve been on my mind, what’s happening?” We all feel like our words are inadequate. How do we really know how the sufferer is feeling? Usually, our words are inadequate, but “showing up” is enough.

If they bring up the topic of depression, despair, giving up, ending it, or even speak directly about suicide, you will not harm them by going with them in the conversation. Some of us are nervous about giving them the idea of suicide, but this is not usually the case. “Have you thought of harming yourself?” “Do you have a plan?” “Do you need help to find your way out of this?” Need help, call the suicide hotline telephone (24 hours a day): 1-800-273-8255.

There are many pat answers, clichés, advice, and sentiments around all suffering, including suicide. Very few of them are helpful. In the Bible, Job was in the lowest place a human could go. It was a great blessing when his friends showed up. The blessing became a curse when they opened their mouth and started giving advice. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention suggests this phrase, “I don’t know what to say, but I’m here for you.”

Suicide does not end pain, it transfers it. The growing rates of death by suicide mean growing numbers of survivors, many of whom are all around us. You can’t see their bandage, or their scar, or their blood, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have a wound. Their wound is closer to their core.

Grief is weird. Some grief is uncomplicated. You grieve when your elderly grandpa dies. You miss him and his quirks; holidays are never the same, and there is a hole. This is pretty uncomplicated grief. Other grief is super complicated, and grief following death by suicide is among the most complicated kind. The grief is often mixed together with regret, guilt, anger, confusion, and a hundred other feelings. Having a safe person or even a small group with which to process this grief is valuable. A local pastor or counselor might be helpful, or connecting with Alliance of Hope (allianceofhope.org), an organization that facilitates an online support system for suicide loss survivors, might be a safe first step.

Finally, God does not take people from this life. Cancer takes people. Depression takes people. Accidents take people. Suicide takes people from life. Only the God who has “been there” can take people from death. spt

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

There are two new books that San Pedrans should put on their summer reading list.

Both books were written by former San Pedrans and both are about San Pedro — old San Pedro. One is a historical novel that takes place in the 1920s and ’30s, and the second is a much shorter memoir about a young girl and her horse during the early days of World War II.

Theresa’s Blessings, by David G. Freligh, (406 pp, $14.99, paperback, amazon.com). Freligh (free-ly), a S ‘62 graduate of San Pedro High, drew on his family history and the stories he heard growing up to paint a vivid picture of his hometown that most of us know only through old photographs.

Theresa’s Blessings is a fictional love story, but all of the characters are composites from Freligh’s past. Told in basically two parts, the first half gives the backgrounds of the two main protagonists. Theresa is an Italian orphan hired as a servant by a couple in Niles, Mich. (hometown of Freligh’s late wife), and Will, an orphan Tennessee hillbilly who, in the second half of the book, meet in post-World War I San Pedro. By then, Theresa is a young widow with six children and Will is a budding developer suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder after losing a foot in the war.

Theresa and Will are meant to represent Freligh’s grandparents; his real parents’ families arrived in San Pedro separately in 1919. The U.S. Hotel on Fifth and Beacon streets, which plays a prominent role in the book, actually was run by Freligh’s maternal grandparents; the painted red line in the hallway beyond which no women were allowed was put there by his grandmother. His mother grew up there.

That isn’t the most interesting part of Freligh’s family history. It’s not in the book, but in the ‘20s, his father lived for three years in a tent on an empty lot on 26th Street. It was a large tent on a wood floor that he shared with his mother and stepfather. While living there as a 13-year-old, Freligh’s father was told by his stepfather to dig a foundation for a house; meanwhile, the stepfather would steal the materials needed to build the home.

Freligh’s parents graduated from San Pedro High – his father in 1926 and his mother in 1928. They were classmates with Vincent Thomas, whose nickname back then was Snake Oil. “His passion was running things. My parents never spoke ill of him,” Freligh recalls.

“My roots, my flavor of San Pedro, goes right to my kitchen table, where I heard these stories. Many of their (his parents’) friends… they would reminisce and laugh about things. All of those stories, all went in there.”

Freligh hasn’t lived in San Pedro since high school. He went on to the University of New Mexico, got married, served in the Vietnam War and became a private investigator. Today, he lives in Pella, Iowa. Like so many other homegrown San Pedrans, however, his heart remains in the “gritty seaport town” he remembers so well and writes about so eloquently.

Mooney: A Story About a Girl and Her Horse, by Betsy Gude Borda, (105 pp, $7.50, paperback, amazon.com). Not far from the place where David Freligh’s father grew up in the 1920s is the home at 1060 Paseo del Mar where Betsy Gude grew up in the ‘40s. The house, with a huge peaked roof and tall stone chimney in front, still is there, sitting right across the street from the low wall on the cliff near the Point Fermin Park annex with Catalina in the distance. This part of San Pedro was still sparsely settled as late as WWII, and it will probably come as a surprise to many that several residents in the area had horses. That was the dream of Betsy, an 8-year-old self-described tomboy – to have a horse of her own.

Like Freligh’s novel, this is a very personal book, but, also like Freligh’s novel, it will resonate with a larger audience. Freligh’s book describes a San Pedro that didn’t extend much beyond Pacific Avenue, where a family treat was a visit to LaRue’s soda fountain. San Pedro was spreading out in the picturesque Point Fermin area when the Gudes arrived at their big house on Paseo del Mar, but there were still lots of open fields and pasture land, and residents, along with their Victory Gardens, raised chickens and pigs and had cows.

Betsy tells the story of her and her horse in a series of vignettes, illustrated with drawings and family photographs. Along with an intimate glimpse into life in the Gude home, we experience with Betsy the growing pains shared by children of all generations.

San Pedrans of that era will recognize many of the names of her circle of friends and the adults who were involved in her life. Besides her Norwegian immigrant parents and older brother, we meet her neighbor Mr. Looysen, the dentist Dr. Shinn, the veterinarian Dr. Smith and Dr. Thompson, whose bratty daughter, Clara, serves as Betsy’s foil.

Among Betsy’s close friends is Bungy Hedley, whose family during this period had the distinct privilege of living in the only house at Royal Palms. Bungy’s unique connection to the sea is the subject of her own memoir, View From the Top of the Mast.

Gude, now 85 and living in Portland, Maine, wrote and drew this tribute to her beloved horse in the 1950s, always hoping to get it published. It finally happened thanks to her family, but if Mooney is any indication, Gude could have been a published author long before this. spt

Raise your hand if you’ve ever suffered from any type of anxiety or depression. (You can’t see me, but I’m raising my hand right now.) Now raise your hand if you’ve ever suffered from an episode of anxiety or depression that has interfered with your ability to perform your daily activities. (Still raising my hand, in case you’re wondering.) The truth is, even if we don’t talk about it, many of us have struggled with mental health at one time or another. For some, these experiences are fleeting, but for others, it goes far beyond simply having a “bad day” or experiencing an occasional mood swing. These experiences can be frequent, long term, and/or chronic, and they can affect our everyday lives in debilitating ways.

We often think the term “mental illness” refers only to extreme disorders, perhaps involving some sort of psychosis or detachment from reality. But the umbrella of mental illness covers a wide spectrum of conditions. In addition to anxiety and depression, other common mental health conditions include attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and eating disorders. Many of us have experienced bouts of these conditions at some time in our lives—or know someone else who has—but most of us suffer in silence or barely make mention of it in passing.

So, why don’t we talk about it? Perhaps it’s the stigma attached to mental health conditions, often connected to feelings of shame or perceived weakness. We often have no problem discussing our physical ailments and how we attempt to remedy them (medical treatment, diet, exercise, etc.), but when it comes to discussing mental health, we often fall silent.

And it’s quite easy to do. Just like certain medical conditions, mental health disorders are invisible. Many of us learn to hide our symptoms, forcing a smile and pretending “everything is okay” even when it’s not. This makes it particularly difficult to know who among us might be struggling. Unfortunately, suffering in silence can perpetuate the symptoms, and it can also compound the condition by adding feelings of loneliness, despair, and isolation. This makes it even more important to initiate dialogue about mental health.

As we close out May, which is Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s a good time to think about the people in our lives who might be in need of someone to talk to right now. If you suspect someone you know is struggling, here are some suggestions for having a conversation about mental health:

• If you’re not sure how to initiate the conversation, simply ask how your loved one is doing. And not just a polite, “How are you?” but a meaningful, “How are you really doing?”
• Try to be a good listener. Be understanding, maybe even while offering some of your own experience, but remember to keep the focus on your loved one and avoid placing judgment.
• If needed, follow up. One conversation may be a good start, but some situations will require an ongoing dialogue. Offer to make yourself available for further conversation (and then actually do it).
• Be discreet (i.e. it’s not your place to reveal their business to any outside party), but if you really feel your loved one is in trouble, don’t be afraid to seek additional help from appropriate outside sources.
• Give your loved one the space they need, but also try to recognize when they shouldn’t be left alone or need immediate professional attention.
• Remember to also check in on the “strong” people in your life. Sometimes they are the ones most likely to suffer in silence.

Finally, if you are the one struggling, please remember you are not alone. In fact, there are probably more people to whom you can relate than you realize. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. And while reaching out to friends, family, and other confidantes might be enough for some people, some of us will require further help, therapy, and/or professional treatment. For further information, here are a few places to start: nami.org, nimh.nih.gov, psychologytoday.com/us.

This information is not meant to replace the advice your doctor or mental health practitioner.

San Pedro High School and L.A. Harbor College have had a symbiotic relationship ever since the junior (now community) college opened in 1949. 

Pirate athletes who didn’t have the grades, finances, or skills to go straight to four-year colleges after graduation often found a welcoming atmosphere at Harbor, and many used the opportunity to get their grades up to university level, as well as develop scholarship-worthy athletic talents. 

The success of that system will be on display this fall when both the Harbor College and San Pedro High School’s Athletic Hall of Fame inductions shine the spotlight on cross-country. 

Harbor College will honor its 2018 state champion girls cross-country team at its September 20 event, while on November 2, the Pirates will salute six cross-country teams—three boys’ and three girls’—that swept City titles from 2002 to 2004, including the man who coached them, Bruce Thomson. 

Three of Thomson’s protégés were members of the Seahawks’ team, the first state championship for the school since women’s basketball in 1994. This team and nine individuals will be honored at the 13th Annual Hall of Fame banquet, which is being held for the first time at the location of the hall, within Harbor’s physical education building. 

Alumni who haven’t been to Harbor recently won’t recognize the campus, which has undergone a nearly complete makeover in the past decade. Among the many new buildings are a state-of-the-art library, brand-new student center, and modern P.E. and wellness center that includes the new gymnasium, site of the banquet. With new multi-story parking structures, ample parking is available. Catering the affair will be the school’s culinary arts program, which was ranked 21st in the state last year. 

Joining the cross-country team in the 2019 induction class are athletes Mike Young (baseball, 1983), Mike Baumgarner (football, 1967-68), Sam Martin (basketball, 1971-73), Marvin Benard (baseball, 1990) and Dave Elecciri (football, 1968-69); and four individuals who are being recognized for meritorious service to the school’s athletic program, Vera (Gascon) Rader, Lynn McGuire, and Marty and Kathryn Blankenship. 

Rader graduated from San Pedro High School in Summer 1949, promptly enrolled in the new junior college in Wilmington, and became the school’s first women’s softball and basketball coach. At the same time she was the school’s first athletic secretary, helping Coach Selwyn Yancy recruit his first football team. McGuire has been the school’s athletic secretary since 1987. The Blankenships were high school sweethearts at Carson. Marty played football at Harbor in 1967, suffered an injury, and returned to play again in 1971. Kathryn attended Harbor at the same time, and both later graduated from Cal State Long Beach and began highly successful high school coaching careers. 

Members of the cross-country team are sophomores Brenda Rosales-Coria (Long Beach Poly), Olivia Quezada (POLA), Cynthia Melendez (SPHS), Andrea Gonzalez-Macias (Millikan) and Estrella Montiel (Maya Angelou) and freshmen Samantha Deroo and Alexa De LaPena (SPHS). Rosales-Coria was the individual state cross-country champion, with coach Geoff Skarr, and assisted by Melissa Cortes, Chris Pinelo and Brandon Bernasconi. 

For more information and tickets, go to lahc.egu, click on the community button or contact Sylvia Files at (310) 233-4011 or foundation@lahc.edu. Tickets are $75 ($25 children under 12). 

Black and Gold 

One of the hottest tickets in town every year is for the San Pedro High Hall of Fame ceremony, which returns to the Dalmatian-American Club for year six. 

This year, there will be eight athletes inducted for individual achievement, six for lifetime achievement, three sets of siblings, three families, and eight posthumous honorees. 

These athletes are Bobby Sandoval (baseball, 1964), Dominic Furio (football, 1998), Vic Nomaaea (basketball, 1984), Karyn Bolger (basketball, 1986), Jess Withey (swimming, 1993), Heather Rosas (cross country, 2001), Perlini Koria (softball, 2008), and Katherine Bjazevich (softball/soccer, 2000). 

Lifetime honorees are Otis Livingston (basketball, 1985), Bruce Thomson (cross-country coach), Ralph DeQuebec (football, 2001), Caitlin Ursini (soccer, 2004), Jerry Rodich (football/baseball, 1961) and Richard Johnson (football, 1978). 

The families are four generations of Potters: Tommy (1938), Kenny Sr. (1960), Kenny Jr. (1980), and Kenny III (2012); three generations of Galosics: Joe (1955), Ron Sr. (1984), Randy (1987), Mike (2009), Ronnie (2010), and Annette (2012); and three generations of Spinosas: Sal (1953), Guy (1982), and Mike (2016). 

Siblings being honored are Steve (2004) and Samantha (2006) Taylor; Mala`e (1981), Theresa (1984), and Carolyn (1986) Pele; and Alejandro (2005), Pablo (2010) and David (2011) Rosales. 

John Misetich, Mel Bobich, and six Metzger brothers (Leonard, Tom, Gene, Cecil, Art, and Chet) will be honored posthumously. 

Thomson, assisted by Sally Leonhart and Rogelio Flores, saw his boys’ and girls’ cross-country teams win City titles in 2002, and both teams went on to repeat in 2003 and 2004. The 2002 boys team was comprised of juniors Toji Sakamoto, Juan Pinedo, and Ricardo Ugalde, sophomore Johan Nava, and seniors Ricardo Diaz, Alex Diaz, Adrian Alanis, and Walter Gonzalez. Joining the team in 2003 were David Soto, Bryan Swartz, Alejandro Rosales, and Daniel Stancin. Teaming with Soto, Swartz, Nava and Rosales in 2004 were Steve Calise, Chris Franco, John Gil, and Juan Villagomez. 

The 2002 girls team was comprised of seniors Cora Webber and Jeannette Blanco, juniors Lori Cardenas and Cygni Olivares, and sophomores Megan and Kirsten Adams, and Jackie Conlin. Joining the five returnees in 2003 were juniors Gabriel Rubi and Mavel Tortoledo and Lauryn Maes. The 2004 team added Terry Manqueros, Maddy Post, and Nora Traughber. 

This event sells out quickly, with tickets going on a first-come, first-served basis. For more info, visit sanpedropirateboosters.com.

Steve Marconi can be reached at spmarconi@yahoo.com. 

If you spent any time at Providence Little Company of Mary Medical Center here in San Pedro in the last few years, you have probably met the friendly and spirited Sister Margaret.

I was in the elevator with her a few years ago, and we started talking about what we were each reading in the Scriptures. We were both in the Gospel of John and she shared how much she was appreciating a commentary written by Jean Vanier, the founder of l’Arche (“The Ark”), an international community of intentional communities made up “with and for people with disabilities.” (From the book cover of Drawn into the Mystery of Jesus Through the Gospel of John. Paulist Press. 2004). Sister Margaret’s Irish accent granted irresistible credibility to everything she said, so I purchased the book right away. Vanier is a gripping author, an insightful philosopher, and Templeton Prize winner. He left a promising career in the Canadian Navy and academic opportunities all over the world to pour his life into an actual community he started with Raphaël and Philippe, two adults living with developmental disabilities in the little French village, Trosly-Breuil. That little community has grown into over 150 communities around the world. Jean Vanier died on May 7.

If you spent any time at Trinity in San Pedro in the last few years, you probably met the friendly and spirited Ronnie Murch. He sat in the back row of the church with his mother. Janice recently told me, “Everybody knows me as Ronnie’s mom. That is how I like it. I have been proud to be Ronnie’s momma.” Ronnie had Down Syndrome, that condition that gives an extra 21st chromosome. Side effects often associated with Down Syndrome include extra hugs, high fives, and smiles. These days, tragically, most Down Syndrome folks are eliminated before they leave the womb. Some ‘developed’ nations even boast about eliminating Down Syndrome from their society. They have not eliminated the condition, but those with the condition. There should be nine more Down Syndrome friends for every one you meet. Ronnie was born at a time when many thought it would be better if people like him lived apart from ‘normal’ people. Janice wouldn’t have it. She not only loved him, she was proud of him. Ronnie was her son, and he became our brother. Ronnie was 57-and-a-half when he died on Saturday, May 18.

Our community would have been impoverished if Janice kept him away from us, hoarding Ronnie all to herself. He was a gift to us. Jean Vanier writes, “When I founded l’Arche it was to ‘be good’ and to ‘do good’ to people with disabilities. I had no idea how these people were going to do good to me! A bishop once told me, ‘You in l’Arche are responsible for a Copernican revolution: up until now we used to say that we should do good to the poor. You are saying that the poor are doing good to you!’ The people we are healing are in fact healing us, even if they do not realize it. They call us to love and awaken within us what is most precious: compassion.”

Ronnie was a man of few words, but sometimes he wanted to share those few words publicly – like from the pulpit, or from the back pew if my sermon got too long or too animated. If I raised my voice, sometimes Ronnie would raise his. Sometimes his momma would be working on the Altar Guild, and he would take his place at the pulpit, as if to say, “Now it’s my turn to preach.” He would fix the microphone and speak right into it with all the authority granted to a beloved son. He was. He is. Ronnie wanted a blessing when he came to the front, the sign of the cross on his forehead. But Ronnie was a blessing. Ronnie was a sign of the cross, God’s power made perfect in weakness. Ronnie felt like he was at home in the house of God. He was. He is.

Blessed be the memory of St. Jean and St. Ronnie.

Port of Los Angeles High School (Charter) – Christopher Magana will be attending University of California Berkeley to study Computer Sciences with the dream of someday working at Walt Disney Imagineering. While attending POLA, Magana created a reading center after the school library was closed. He engaged the community and the staff, raised all the funds, and earned his Eagle Scout Award by completing a much needed new space. Magana’s single mother, his sole provider, had been in and out of the hospital for the last four years. His grades slipped as she struggled with constant health issues. While caring for his mother, Magana realized he needed to make school a priority and began studying at the hospital. His grades improved, and he completed a career path (CTE) at POLA in both photography and graphic design. Magana’s hard work earned him numerous certificates and awards, including a scholarship by National Geographic to spend the summer in Tokyo studying photography. A few weeks ago, his mother passed away. Magana is committed to working hard and making her proud.

San Pedro High School, Olguin Campus (LAUSD) – Robert Sparrow attended the Police Academy Magnet and will be going to California State University Channel Islands after graduation, majoring in Information Technology with a goal of working in law enforcement. At birth, Sparrow weighed one pound 14 ounces, and as a result, it is challenging for him to process information, at times. Sparrow credits both his family and school community for their support. The Police Magnet helped him with his confidence, and he is also thankful to the seniors in the class of 2018. Sparrow believes advocacy, parental support, and teachers that provided tutoring contributed to his success of getting into college.

San Pedro High School, Flagship Campus (LAUSD) – Madeline Anna Wright and will be going to the University of Chicago as an Odyssey Scholar on a full scholarship. Wright was accepted to 13 colleges. She will major in Neuroscience, with a goal of attaining a medical degree and becoming a neurosurgeon. She will be the first person in her family to graduate from college, and doing it debt free at the third-ranked college in the nation. Wright has maintained a 4.2 GPA throughout high school, completed 11 community college classes, and nine advanced placement courses. While growing up, Wright bravely faced challenges of addiction and abuse within her family. Recalling being told that 60% of children of addicts result in using drugs, Wright continues to carry her childhood on her back, no longer as a burden, but as a reminder of how far she has come. She is thankful to her teachers for help on their lunch breaks, before school, and on Saturdays, and today, her mind is consumed with new statistics. There are less then 1% of certified black female neurosurgeons in the world, a statistic that she plans to join.

Mary Star of the Sea High School (Private/ Catholic) – Nathan Trudnich will be attending Lesley University located in Cambridge, Massachusetts to study Business, with a minor in Sports Management. He received the Presidential Scholarship and will be playing NCAA Division 3 baseball, while also working towards his goals of obtaining his Master’s Degree and working in the finance sector. Trudnich has always made the Principal’s Honor Roll, never fell below a 4.0 GPA, and was selected for the Second Team All- League. During his sophomore year, he suffered a concussion while playing football, resulting in chronic headaches and difficulty in the classroom. Through this ongoing experience, he has learned to be grateful for and appreciate the little things, and his whole prospective on life has changed for the better. Trudnich credits the strong, devoted, and caring support system at Mary Star and without their help, he would not be where he is today.

Angel’s Gate High School (LAUSD Continuation School) – Haley Bryant will be attending Harbor College as well as cosmetology school, with the goal of someday owning her own salon. She has completed all of her courses and will be receiving a LAUSD diploma. Bryant has overcome the culture of her family history and succeeded when people around her said she couldn’t do it. Bryant credits Angel’s Gate for providing her with motivation and support, and is grateful to her teachers who encouraged her and helped teach her skills she needed to accomplish her work. Bryant especially thanks her principal for his inspiration, and for creating a school where the students want to thrive.

Alliance M. Baxter College-Ready High School (Charter) – Nick Williams will be attending UCLA and majoring in Astrophysics. With interests in astronomy and a solid record of excelling in mathematics, Williams felt this was a great way to do both in college. His hard work in high school is something he is proud of and knows that it has prepared him for the future by building a strong work ethic. During his senior year, Williams’ mother passed away, and he took a break from his academics and role as ASB President during this challenging time. Eventually, he slowly began to get back into his regular routine. Williams remembers his mother as being one of the kindest human beings he has ever known. He continues to work hard and be successful to make her proud. He is thankful to the school staff for caring about the well being of students, as well as helping him fill out all of his college applications. spt

I have been writing this column for San Pedro Today for just over 10 years and have covered many different topics. Some of these topics have shared elements of my life, personal perspective, or covering a particular local issue. My first column was titled, “What will you do to change San Pedro?” It was a call to action to all of San Pedro to take on the personal responsibility of getting involved to transforming our beloved town toward a positive future. 

I focused on the words, “What will you do,” because I am a firm believer that sitting back and complaining is just that, complaining. I wouldn’t have put this call to action out so bluntly if I were not going to roll up my sleeves with the rest of you. I have to say, many of you have been involved in some capacity while others, well, are still complaining. In the end, the majority of the change agents in town are beginning to see the future that we have been working so hard towards begin to unfold right in front of our eyes. 

Today, taking a simple cruise across town, you will see the most recent changes that are taking place if you truly look for them. From the development of the San Pedro Public Market on the waterfront, to the High Park development finally taking shape on Western Avenue, to new luxury apartments going up on Sixth and Palos Verdes, to new town homes being built on Eighth and Centre, to new restaurants and a new brewery beginning to open up downtown, to plans for a boutique hotel next to the Warner Grand Theatre – San Pedro is truly on the rise. 

I know it’s easy, and sometimes tempting, to get caught up in the negativity that makes its way into the conversation these days, but time is better spent determining where you can make a difference and dive in and do the work. I know from personal experience that this is not an easy task and it takes personal sacrifice to get involved to get it done. My personal motto is that it’s not about time, but rather want. If you want to do something, you will find the time. 

As an example, a friend who volunteers countless hours at a local little league was in a conversation with a guy who said, “We should have tournaments every weekend at the field as fundraisers.” My friend thought it was a great idea and asked, “When can you start organizing the tournaments?” The person was taken back and said he was too busy with other things and didn’t have the time. I guess the term “we” did not mean him. Again, not about time, but want. If he truly wanted to do this, he would have found the time. 

Much of what is being developed today in San Pedro was built on the sacrifice (want) and commitment (time) of many who decided to get involved to make a difference. Change did not happen overnight then, and it will not happen overnight today. It will happen with a steady focus and commitment of those wanting to make a difference. Just as I did some 10 years ago, I will end this column with a quote from Teddy Roosevelt, known as “The Man in the Arena”: 

It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face in marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Although we aren’t, and don’t claim to be, Estate Planners or Tax Advisors, we thought it would be helpful to write about trusts due to our past experiences in real estate transactions. This month’s column shares our understanding and some previous experiences with trusts, along with the benefits of holding your property in a trust.

There are two common types of trusts that we encounter most often in residential real estate transactions: A Revocable Trust, also known as a Living Trust, and an Irrevocable Trust. A Revocable Trust can be altered or amended at any time and becomes irrevocable upon the death of the Settlor, also known as the Grantor or Trustor. An Irrevocable Trust may not be modified, amended or terminated in most cases. However, our understanding is that there are some exceptions to this. There are distinct differences between these two types of trusts, including asset protection, tax benefits, etc. You should consult with a professional that specializes in estate planning to determine which trust type is right for your situation.

Where real estate is concerned, we advocate holding property in a trust for the following reasons:

1. Avoiding Probate – This is probably the biggest reason to hold your property in a trust. Generally speaking, a person’s estate is distributed to heirs and beneficiaries according to their trust or Last Will and Testament. In the absence of a will or trust, a person’s property, and any debt owed to creditors, is handled through probate. Probate is simply the legal process for distributing ones property after they have died. Probate can be a slow process, can get expensive, and is a public proceeding that can be intrusive into a person’s private matters. We have had past experiences where the court appointed administrator of a property or estate had to spend well into the thousands of dollars, and it took over six months before the probate court issued written approval for the sale of a property.

2. Incapacity Protection – Another helpful component of a trust is that it identifies a Successor Trustee that maintains the legal authority to facilitate the instructions in a trust, not only when a person has died, but also when they are still living and no longer able to care for themselves. We recently experienced a situation where the Settlor (our client) of a trust was unable to sign contracts and disclosures due to Parkinson’s-related symptoms. In this particular case, the Settlor granted Power of Attorney to the Successor Trustee so that they were able to complete the transaction.

3. Privacy – As stated earlier, a probate proceeding is a matter of public information. When a trust is in place, it is never filed with a court and therefore it doesn’t become public record for anyone to see.

Why would someone choose a Trust over a Last Will and Testament? In our experience, a trust is preferred over a will, in many cases, because it creates a fiduciary relationship that allows a person to give another party (Successor Trustee) authority to handle their assets for the benefit of the beneficiaries named in the trust. A will, on the other hand, is a legally enforceable document that identifies how you want your affairs handled and assets distributed upon your death. Again, consult with a professional that specializes in estate planning to get a better understanding of these important legal instruments and which is best suited for your particular situation.

When selling a home that is held in a trust, you should also be aware of the different real estate contract requirements. It is always recommended that you work with a real estate professional that understands the different requirements, can clearly explain these requirements and guide you through the process that can often times be somewhat complicated.