Every day, people are persuaded to act against their own interests—not by brute force but by subtle psychological manipulation.
From high-conflict divorces to authoritarian regimes, similar patterns emerge: distorting reality, isolating the target, and implanting new beliefs that serve the manipulator’s end goal. This isn’t science fiction—it’s behavioral science, and it’s happening in courtrooms, living rooms, and voting booths across the world.
I think it’s important to understand the blueprint of a manipulator in the name of guarding against their hypnotic grip on an individual’s mind. Manipulators rely on predictable psychological tactics: gaslighting, guilt, fear, and love bombing. These tools exploit a person’s need for safety, validation, and love. Psychiatrist Robert Lifton’s foundational work on brainwashing showed that consistent repetition, emotional pressure, and isolation can fracture an individual’s self-concept—making them ripe for reprogramming.
When narcissists are wounded, their revenge often takes the form of covert psychological warfare. One of the most tragic and frequent applications of these tactics occurs during custody battles, where children are weaponized as tools of revenge.
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), though controversial in legal circles, is a widely observed dynamic where one parent systematically manipulates a child to reject the other parent in the form of systematic reprogramming. This is a relentless process of consistently portraying the target in a negative light, not by simply bad mouthing, but by undermining, ridiculing, and reshaping memories by taking things out of context and deliberately presenting accidental or minor missteps as intentional and sinister.
It does not stop there; these individuals reward their children’s hate and distaste for the other parent and covertly punish any trace of loyalty or love toward the object of alienation. Relentless distortions and lies aimed at convincing the child that the parent is negligent, unloving, and dangerous begin to distort a child’s sense of reality, creating a deep psychological split between two parents—one is without reproach and the other is responsible for all the ills in the family drama.
Often, these narcissistic parents present themselves as helpless and victimized, where the child becomes parentified and responsible for the adult’s emotional regulation.
According to a 2018 study by Dr. Jennifer Harman and Dr. Edward Kruk, approximately 22 million adults in the U.S. report having been targets of parental alienation. Children caught in this dynamic show elevated rates of anxiety, depression, substance abuse, identity confusion, and difficulty forming relationships—often into adulthood.
Notably, those who alienate tend to show traits of narcissistic or borderline personality patterns, and a disproportionate number are found among socioeconomically advantaged, educated individuals—those with the resources to weaponize the legal system and craft persuasive narratives.
The impact on children is profound. Deprived of a stable attachment figure and coerced into black-and-white thinking, they may develop disorganized attachment patterns, struggle with trust, and internalize a sense of shame or betrayal. In severe cases, this can resemble complex PTSD, where the child’s core sense of self is formed under duress and emotional manipulation.
FROM HOMES TO HALLS OF POWER
These same manipulation tactics scale easily. In cults, for instance, leaders isolate followers, bombard them with doctrine, and manufacture threats from the outside world. The goal is total dependence. Whether it’s Jonestown or NXIVM, the pattern repeats: breakdown, dependency, devotion.
Political campaigns and mass media also engage in what some psychologists call “mass hypnosis”—a term used loosely to describe the strategic use of fear, repetition, and emotional rhetoric.
When individuals are stressed, uncertain, or economically insecure, they become more susceptible to suggestion. Politicians and propagandists exploit this by repeating simple slogans, evoking powerful emotions (such as fear of outsiders and nostalgia for a mythic past), creating false binaries by blaming outsiders, and using phrases designed to shut down critical thinking and simplify complex realities.
Over time, entire populations can be manipulated to support policies or leaders that harm their own economic, medical, or civil rights interests. Undoing such programming, whether within a family or across a nation, requires more than truth-telling. Psychological deprogramming, rebuilding trust, and restoring the victim’s sense of self can take a long time and often fail.
For children affected by alienation, this usually means therapy, exposure to the alienated parent, and long-term relational repair. For adults influenced by mass propaganda, it means developing media literacy, seeking community support, and sometimes, the slow and painful work of recognizing cognitive dissonance.
We like to think we are rational beings, but history and psychology remind us that we are relational beings first. Whoever controls the emotional narrative often controls the choices we make—even if they lead us straight to ruin. Awareness is key to cutting these marionette strings and reclaiming agency.
“The most potent weapon in the hands of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed.” – Steve Biko spt
Share Your Comments