{"id":4882,"date":"2019-06-27T13:45:50","date_gmt":"2019-06-27T20:45:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/?p=4882"},"modified":"2019-08-08T09:36:46","modified_gmt":"2019-08-08T16:36:46","slug":"suicide-does-not-end-pain","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/","title":{"rendered":"Suicide Does Not End Pain"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In junior high, a few of us went down to the guidance counselor to get help because our common friend was talking about ending her own life. That counselor was a safe person to process with, even if he was a horrendous theologian. He encouraged us to stick close to our friend, and keep talking, even openly. He suggested we try and identify an adult with whom our friend might talk. Then he started his theological speculation. He should have stopped while he was ahead. He posited that a person\u2019s eternity would be a continuation of their final moments. All I could think of was extended suffering, extended car accidents, extended hopelessness. I know we live in a pluralistic society, but some beliefs are worse than others. His was the worst.<\/p>\n<p>According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), suicide takes the lives of nearly 45,000 Americans a year. Suicidal thoughts are more common among females, but suicide is more common among males. The National Center for Health Statistics reports a 30% increase in the rate of death by suicide between 2000 and 2017. (These stats and more can be found at the CDC\u2019s website: <a href=\"http:\/\/www.cdc.gov\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">www.cdc.gov<\/a>.)<\/p>\n<p>One of my mentors, Jim Kok, wrote a book entitled, <em>90% of Helping is Just Showing Up<\/em>. That is true. Do you have a gut sense that someone is fading out of life? Fade in to their life! \u201cJust thought I\u2019d stop in and see how you are doing.\u201d \u201cI\u2019m worried about you.\u201d \u201cYou\u2019ve been on my mind, what\u2019s happening?\u201d We all feel like our words are inadequate. How do we really know how the sufferer is feeling? Usually, our words are inadequate, but \u201cshowing up\u201d is enough.<\/p>\n<p>If they bring up the topic of depression, despair, giving up, ending it, or even speak directly about suicide, you will not harm them by going with them in the conversation. Some of us are nervous about giving them the idea of suicide, but this is not usually the case. \u201cHave you thought of harming yourself?\u201d \u201cDo you have a plan?\u201d \u201cDo you need help to find your way out of this?\u201d Need help, call the suicide hotline telephone (24 hours a day): 1-800-273-8255.<\/p>\n<p>There are many pat answers, clich\u00e9s, advice, and sentiments around all suffering, including suicide. Very few of them are helpful. In the Bible, Job was in the lowest place a human could go. It was a great blessing when his friends showed up. The blessing became a curse when they opened their mouth and started giving advice. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention suggests this phrase, \u201cI don\u2019t know what to say, but I\u2019m here for you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Suicide does not end pain, it transfers it. The growing rates of death by suicide mean growing numbers of survivors, many of whom are all around us. You can\u2019t see their bandage, or their scar, or their blood, but that doesn\u2019t mean they don\u2019t have a wound. Their wound is closer to their core.<\/p>\n<p>Grief is weird. Some grief is uncomplicated. You grieve when your elderly grandpa dies. You miss him and his quirks; holidays are never the same, and there is a hole. This is pretty uncomplicated grief. Other grief is super complicated, and grief following death by suicide is among the most complicated kind. The grief is often mixed together with regret, guilt, anger, confusion, and a hundred other feelings. Having a safe person or even a small group with which to process this grief is valuable. A local pastor or counselor might be helpful, or connecting with Alliance of Hope (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.allianceofhope.org\">allianceofhope.org<\/a>), an organization that facilitates an online support system for suicide loss survivors, might be a safe first step.<\/p>\n<p>Finally, God does not take people from this life. Cancer takes people. Depression takes people. Accidents take people. Suicide takes people from life. Only the God who has \u201cbeen there\u201d can take people from death. <span style=\"color: #00ccff;\"><strong>spt<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p><em>National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In junior high, a few of us went down to the guidance counselor to get help because our common friend was talking about ending her own life. That counselor was a safe [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":12,"featured_media":5083,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_price":"","_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_header":"","_tribe_default_ticket_provider":"","_tribe_ticket_capacity":"0","_ticket_start_date":"","_ticket_end_date":"","_tribe_ticket_show_description":"","_tribe_ticket_show_not_going":false,"_tribe_ticket_use_global_stock":"","_tribe_ticket_global_stock_level":"","_global_stock_mode":"","_global_stock_cap":"","_tribe_rsvp_for_event":"","_tribe_ticket_going_count":"","_tribe_ticket_not_going_count":"","_tribe_tickets_list":"[]","_tribe_ticket_has_attendee_info_fields":false},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v21.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Suicide Does Not End Pain - San Pedro Today<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Suicide Does Not End Pain - San Pedro Today\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In junior high, a few of us went down to the guidance counselor to get help because our common friend was talking about ending her own life. That counselor was a safe [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"San Pedro Today\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sanpedrotoday\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2019-06-27T20:45:50+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2019-08-08T16:36:46+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/san-pedro-today-voices-angry-anxiety-depression-236151-e1565282082676.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"2000\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1335\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Pastor Nathan Hoff\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@sanpedrotoday\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@sanpedrotoday\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Pastor Nathan Hoff\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fa40462aecd4cb85edd47a39bf368b75\"},\"headline\":\"Suicide Does Not End Pain\",\"datePublished\":\"2019-06-27T20:45:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-08-08T16:36:46+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\"},\"wordCount\":678,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Community Voices\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\",\"name\":\"Suicide Does Not End Pain - San Pedro Today\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2019-06-27T20:45:50+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2019-08-08T16:36:46+00:00\",\"breadcrumb\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/#breadcrumb\"},\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"ReadAction\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"BreadcrumbList\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/#breadcrumb\",\"itemListElement\":[{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":1,\"name\":\"Home\",\"item\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/\"},{\"@type\":\"ListItem\",\"position\":2,\"name\":\"Suicide Does Not End Pain\"}]},{\"@type\":\"WebSite\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#website\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/\",\"name\":\"San Pedro Today\",\"description\":\"\",\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#organization\"},\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"SearchAction\",\"target\":{\"@type\":\"EntryPoint\",\"urlTemplate\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/?s={search_term_string}\"},\"query-input\":\"required name=search_term_string\"}],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\"},{\"@type\":\"Organization\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#organization\",\"name\":\"San Pedro Today\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/\",\"logo\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/spt_logo_400x100.png\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/spt_logo_400x100.png\",\"width\":400,\"height\":100,\"caption\":\"San Pedro Today\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/\"},\"sameAs\":[\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sanpedrotoday\",\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/sanpedrotoday\",\"https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sanpedrotoday\/\"]},{\"@type\":\"Person\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fa40462aecd4cb85edd47a39bf368b75\",\"name\":\"Pastor Nathan Hoff\",\"image\":{\"@type\":\"ImageObject\",\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3214ddeeeb14585604e7ae080e1ae952?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"contentUrl\":\"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3214ddeeeb14585604e7ae080e1ae952?s=96&d=mm&r=g\",\"caption\":\"Pastor Nathan Hoff\"},\"description\":\"Nathan Hoff has served as pastor at Trinity San Pedro since 2005 and can be contacted at nathan@trinitysanpedro.org or www.trinitysanpedro.orgwww.trinitysanpedro.org.\",\"sameAs\":[\"http:\/\/trinitypastor.blogspot.com\"],\"url\":\"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/author\/nathanhoff\/\"}]}<\/script>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Suicide Does Not End Pain - San Pedro Today","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Suicide Does Not End Pain - San Pedro Today","og_description":"In junior high, a few of us went down to the guidance counselor to get help because our common friend was talking about ending her own life. That counselor was a safe [&hellip;]","og_url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/","og_site_name":"San Pedro Today","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sanpedrotoday","article_published_time":"2019-06-27T20:45:50+00:00","article_modified_time":"2019-08-08T16:36:46+00:00","og_image":[{"width":2000,"height":1335,"url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/06\/san-pedro-today-voices-angry-anxiety-depression-236151-e1565282082676.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Pastor Nathan Hoff","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@sanpedrotoday","twitter_site":"@sanpedrotoday","schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/"},"author":{"name":"Pastor Nathan Hoff","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fa40462aecd4cb85edd47a39bf368b75"},"headline":"Suicide Does Not End Pain","datePublished":"2019-06-27T20:45:50+00:00","dateModified":"2019-08-08T16:36:46+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/"},"wordCount":678,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#organization"},"articleSection":["Community Voices"],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/","url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/","name":"Suicide Does Not End Pain - San Pedro Today","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#website"},"datePublished":"2019-06-27T20:45:50+00:00","dateModified":"2019-08-08T16:36:46+00:00","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/"]}]},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/2019\/06\/27\/suicide-does-not-end-pain\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Suicide Does Not End Pain"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#website","url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/","name":"San Pedro Today","description":"","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":"required name=search_term_string"}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#organization","name":"San Pedro Today","url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/spt_logo_400x100.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/spt_logo_400x100.png","width":400,"height":100,"caption":"San Pedro Today"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/sanpedrotoday","https:\/\/twitter.com\/sanpedrotoday","https:\/\/www.instagram.com\/sanpedrotoday\/"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/fa40462aecd4cb85edd47a39bf368b75","name":"Pastor Nathan Hoff","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3214ddeeeb14585604e7ae080e1ae952?s=96&d=mm&r=g","contentUrl":"https:\/\/secure.gravatar.com\/avatar\/3214ddeeeb14585604e7ae080e1ae952?s=96&d=mm&r=g","caption":"Pastor Nathan Hoff"},"description":"Nathan Hoff has served as pastor at Trinity San Pedro since 2005 and can be contacted at nathan@trinitysanpedro.org or www.trinitysanpedro.orgwww.trinitysanpedro.org.","sameAs":["http:\/\/trinitypastor.blogspot.com"],"url":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/author\/nathanhoff\/"}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4882"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/12"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4882"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4882\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5083"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4882"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4882"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sanpedrotoday.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4882"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}